it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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