party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
PANTIES FOUND
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