Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
