My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
