It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
