Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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