Hey man sorry I got all grabby
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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