I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
