i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
