So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
