Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
