Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
