I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
