I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
