if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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