i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
