He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
