I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
