What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
