dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
