Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
