He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
