I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
