I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
