Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
