Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
