Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
