Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
there was a trapeze. enough said
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You are the jesus of drinking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
