it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
