Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
