I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
