i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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