And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
