If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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