i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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