i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
