i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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