Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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