I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
