well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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