You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
