I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
