We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
