Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
