If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
