This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
