Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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