remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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