what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We got so high we made milksteak
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
