Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
