im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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